Often Against Your Teenagers? Causes and How to Overcome It

Facing a growing child to teenager is not easy. Children can sometimes be very difficult to deal with and parents feel the action as a form of resistance. One cause children to become any words often against their parents and demand is due to a wrong method of communication.

Psychologist of Personal Growth Sulistiawati Monica explains what parents fault when chatting or communicating with his teenage son when he was met at the office of the counseling agencies in Jl. Aries Garden, West Jakarta, last weekend. Here are four mistakes that Monica explained:

1. Fight

When communicating with children who are adolescents, parents feel has always ended up fighting. Why even end up with a fight? According to Monica, there are some things that caused them. For example, one of intonation or tone and choice of words were wrong.

2. One Direction

This type of communication typically contains criticism or telling example you scold children who wake up late without first asking why he woke up late.

3. Do not connect

Parents also often throw words or an answer that does not connect with the child talks. For example, when children intend to vent about someone who likes you even say that he should not be thinking about him and focus on learning. According to Monica, it's a different context and can make the child frustrated.

4. No Communication

This is the most fatal mistake. Although there is no contention, but that happens can make children become increasingly distant from his parents.

After learning the four errors, Monica also explains how that should be done when parents communicate with their teenagers. What is it?

- Build Effective Communication

Effective here means that you and the child must understand each other. Do not just want to be understood only by the desire of children, parents also need to know what you want her baby. When communicating avoid using words that can lead to bullying, sepertin called 'stupid'. Remember to say thank you and please like, which though simple but meaningful.

In communicating, try to be a good listener. Pay attention to intonation, expression and body language.

- Empathy

When communicating with children, you should also try to empathize. Try to position yourself in the position of children. Empathy is important that you understand why he often refused Demand you. For example, when children are asked directly or bath immediately learned when I got home from school in the afternoon. If you do not understand the position of the child, parents will not know if the kids felt they were tired of being in school all day and need to 'rest' for a while at home before starting another activity.

- Relate

Communication in order to work well with children, parents should understand what a good boy like that about movies, music, bands and others. Invest your time to find out what was digandrunginya that when talking to him could be 'disconnected'. A child with learning to know, you are so young to get into their world.

- Total

When the center with the children, try to dedicate all the time for him. Forget for a moment your gadget. Actually be a good listener for her.

- Apply 5 feel

Apply the principles 5 feel: Love, Consequent, Consistent, Compromise and Compact. By applying this 5  feel parents to accept the child as it is, a commitment to deal with that late made, to shape a child's behavior is consistent, flexible and willing to compromise or compact with friends.